MesutAid Appeal

It’s been a hard, hard year for many of us.

A tried and tested way to make yourself feel better during challenging times is to give yourself some perspective. As bad as you may have it, somebody else probably has it worse.

I want to take a moment to remind of you of one such person.

(clears throat, starts charity advert voice)

To make an urgent appeal to you on their behalf.

This poor soul is called Mesut.

Every day, Mesut had to train with his friends when you couldn’t, sweating icky salty fluids and breathing potential virus clouds, but he was contractually obliged to, so he had no choice.

Every game, Mesut had to Tweet while his team lined up without him, playing football so dismal it made Piers Morgan cry, but he was contractually obliged to, so he had no choice.

Every week, Mesut had to fearfully watch an ever-decreasing number of £350k paychecks land, not knowing where his next contract would come from, because he had no choice (outside of leaving).

But you do.

Today, you can choose to bring a smile to number 10s like Mesut.

You can donate just €3 to Mesut’s new club to help them pay the wages he’s entitled to.

Your €3 can help pay for Mesut’s 5G, so that he can keep doing his essential work.

Your €3 can help Mesut offer to pay for his new club’s mascot’s (a canary) salary when it eventually gets ordered down the coalmine and he has decided not to pull his weight any longer.

We’ve already paid for TV subscriptions and shirts and tickets, but it’s not enough.

So please, text YA-MONEY-YA to do your bit for this persecuted multimillionaire while he squanders a career millions would kill for.

Please, for Mesut’s sake, text now because until we subsidise his wage, his club will pay him it anyway, because they’re contractually obliged to.

Thank you.