Tika-taka makes everything cr*pper

“I hate tiki-taka. I always will. I want nothing more to do with tiki-taka. Tiki-taka is a load of ****, a made-up term. It means passing the ball for the sake of passing, with no real aim or aggression - nothing. I will not allow my brilliant players to fall for all that rubbish.” Pep Guardiola

Around a decade ago, I met a sales rep that worked for (what most would consider) the premium sports statistics provider in the world. He claimed that due to the introduction of new running performance metrics, some top Premier League players would do little shuttle runs when the ball went out of play to bump up their figures. Running for the sake of running.

I didn’t believe him then and I don’t believe him now (I’ve watched a lot of football down the years and never ever seen it) but what I do believe is that we live in a culture where “for the sake of” happens a lot.

After all, he was telling that story for the sake of it. Filling time. Trying to look cool with insider stories.

But if anything, in doing so, he was unintentionally putting me off the very thing he was trying to sell. Who wants data that has been fudged to create a fake narrative?

Passes for the sake of them.
Stories for the sake of them.
Games for the sake of them.

The Euros expanded from 16 to 24 teams in 2016. UEFA are now talking about making the 2028 tournament a 32-teamer. The recent Copa America implemented an odd structure, seemingly for the sake of more games. The Champions League is bloating and now we have the Europa Conference League, the Europa League’s new swollen appendage.

Like the sales rep padding his pitch out with silly stories that undermined the very thing he was trying to sell, these competitions are diluting their own credibility but unfortunately in this case, diluted credibility and quality brings with it juicier, or at least juiced-up, profits.

I don’t want to be adding to the bloat with purposeless prose. I want my words to have aim and to matter. I want for you to feel that I’m playing to win rather than just playing to play.

I’ve not written to you over the past few months for precisely this reason. I could have peddled out some content to keep you engaged but I wouldn’t have been content with myself (bu-bum).

Content is filler, padding, the ‘“tuna” in a Subway sandwich’ of writing.

I’ve been hard at work on a story.
A sequel to FOUL.
It’s so meaty, it’s probably going to be released as two volumes.

TARGET MAN will be coming your way in the next few months.

As I apply the finishing touches to it and plan my next story, I’ll hopefully have a little more headspace free to be in touch a little more. But mark my words, whichever way I intend to entertain you, just know I won’t be spamming you with tika-taka content.

P.S. if you didn’t get the Subway reference, click here.